{April 23, 2017}

Posted on April 23, 2017 Posted By: HCCCategories: journey

April 23-29, 2017

{Sit With Us: Racial Healing}

By Katrina Kanary

What does it take to raise a child whose racial makeup does not reflect your own?

When our youngest two sons joined our family we had anticipated differences. We attended classes about the intricacies of adoption, support that our sons’ mom would need, needs our boys would have as they grew and began to understand adoption in more nuanced ways, and differences inherent in transracial adoption. The last set our lives on a new course and we are forever changed.

Being the researcher I am I threw myself into figuring out how to become the best family we could be for two little boys who entered our lives and stole our hearts. Some of the greatest lessons I have learned have come in community with people of color. Community being the key—it isn’t enough to have a “smile as we walk into church” kind of relationship. God has brought an amazing array of women of many colors into my life whose friendships challenge me and feed my soul. For things more specific to transracial adoption, my community is local and online.

Dan spoke about a verse from James (1:19), “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

These admonitions could have been taken directly from community standards for transracial adoption Facebook groups that I have the great honor of belonging to. These groups are moderated by men and women who are people of color, adult adoptees, former foster youth, or birth/first mothers—sometimes more than one. Members are those individuals and foster, adoptive, and potential adoptive families. Moderators and members give of themselves because they care about kids of color who are being raised in adoptive/foster families and that we as their parents/caregivers get it right to the best of our ability.

Listen—upon joining you are asked not to post or respond to any posts for at least a week. You merely read posts and responses. Sometimes threads can be hard to read. I have been confronted with my privilege through reading the raw, unfiltered thoughts and experiences of others to whom these privileges do not extend.

Slow to speak—once you are an active member of the community your listening posture continues. They value the “lived experience” of the members who are the adults our children will someday become. It has been so difficult to retrain myself not to automatically contribute on a thread when what I need to do is listen to (or amplify) the voices of those with lived experience where I have only anecdotal knowledge.

Slow to anger—this one is vital. When you are confronted with your privilege it is uncomfortable. When your view of the world is experiencing a foundational change it is hard not to get angry at yourself, people around you, and those shifting your paradigm. It hurts and hurting people tend to lash out. When you feel stung by a comment/post, walk away for a few hours/days so you can come back able to objectively listen to the perspective of the other person, look at your perspective with fresh eyes, and reassess the conversation.

Which one of these is most difficult for you? Which relationships in your life, no matter how currently superficial or deep, could use a good dose of these three disciplines?

Taking time to truly sit and listen to people of color, especially in the context of community, will change you fundamentally. Respecting others enough to truly listen, avoid talking long enough to understand, and tamping down feelings of frustration or anger until you can learn more about their perspective will go a long way toward making them feel a part of your community and valued as a person.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. —Maya Angelou

{sunday 4.16.17}

Read James 1:19

Observe, Reflect, Apply: Which one of these is most difficult for you? Which relationships in your life, no matter how currently superficial or deep, could use a good dose of these three disciplines?

Miss the Sunday teaching? CLICK HERE to watch now!

{personal reflection and bible reading plan}

As you read the verses each day, make notes of questions you have about what you’re reading as well as answering the reflection questions below. Grab a friend or two to discuss what you are learning and what God is doing in your lives.

CLICK HERE to check out our latest video resource, The Journey Continues. It connects the dots from the past weeks’ readings to the current readings.

{monday 4.24.17}

Read 1 Corinthians 5:9-6:8

Observe, Reflect, Apply: In these verses we are given strict guidance on dealing with other believers who are openly sinning, or dealing with believers we have a legal dispute with. What in these verses is hard for you to wrestle with and practice in your life? What questions are you pondering over the teaching?

{tuesday 4.25.17}

Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-20

Observe, Reflect, Apply: We are given the opportunity to choose how we live—the Bible calls it free will. These verses remind us that although we can choose to do anything, not all things are good for us. How do you make life choices? What filter, or wisdom do you apply? Who do you consult, when the way seems unclear, the best choice uncertain?

{wednesday 4.26.17}

Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-16

Observe, Reflect, Apply: Whether you are single or married, read these verses and note what makes you uncomfortable. Jot down what you agree with, what you question, and what God might be saying to you in the passage.

{thursday 4.27.17}

Read 1 Corinthians 7:17-24

Observe, Reflect, Apply: What do you think is intended by the phrase, "remain as you were when God first called you?"

{friday 4.28.17}

Read 1 Corinthians 7:25-40

Observe, Reflect, Apply: What wisdom can we glean from these verses on marriage, singleness, and following Jesus?

{saturday 4.29.17}

Read 1 Corinthians 8

Observe, Reflect, Apply: An idol is simply anything we give more influence over us than we give God. As you read these verses, what do you hear? What might you be giving more influence than it deserves in your life? What could you do this week to shift that?

{group discussion ideas}

We weren’t meant to experience the life of Jesus alone, so we encourage you to rally a few others to discuss what you are hearing, reading, and reflecting on together. Whether you are meeting as an Heartland group, talking with a few friends throughout the week, or bringing up spiritual conversations around your table at home, feel free to use some of these questions as conversation starters for The Journey.

Can you name an ‘takeaway’ or challenge from the Sunday message?
How has that been relevant, challenging, or meaningful to your life this week?
What have you observed about God, Jesus, yourself, others, or God’s plan for you from these readings?
Where do you need a breakthrough from God this week?
Who do you need to share what you’re learning about God with?

{extra journey resources}

CLICK HERE for more on how to use the observe-reflect-apply approach to getting the most out of your Bible reading.

The Bible App Get a free Bible for your phone, tablet, and computer. Experience the Bible anywhere, with options to highlight, save notes, and share what you are reading with others.

Bible Gateway Provides advanced Bible searching capabilities, which allow readers to find passages in scripture based on keywords, phrases, or scripture reference.

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