Posted on August 7, 2022 Posted By: HCCCategories: journey
Heartland Community Church
THE JOURNEY
Asking for a Friend: How To Find Your People
By Molly Fisher
Throughout history, until relatively recently, people lived in intertwined communities (tribes, clans, villages, neighborhoods) where almost everyone knew everyone and depended on each other. Today, at least in much of the USA, people are living lonely. God declared way back in Genesis, ”It’s not good for man to be alone.” Jesus modeled relational living – He started His ministry by asking others to join Him. Research is showing that loneliness can be the single worst thing for your overall health. Whereas deep meaningful connections can be the very best thing for your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
For all eternity, God has existed in relationship, and we are made in His image. The desire to be known, seen, connected, and loved is deep in our very soul. Curt Thompson, a neurorelational expert, says that (from birth) we are looking for someone looking for us. Equally important is that the only thing we get to take into eternity with us is our relationships.
Are you living lonely? Who are your people? Do you find yourself needing to ask for a friend? People are critically important. People who know you and love you anyway, extra critical!
Some of my people are:
My family who have known me since birth and are still an important part of my life. And then my in-laws who got stuck with me and love me anyway.
Friends from high school, college, early in our marriage that have known me for years, and continue to encourage me, challenge me, and to make life fun.
Newer friends that met at Heartland’s mid-week class last Fall, who have remained a consistent community, and friends I know are praying for me. I appreciate adding these new friends to ones I already had at Heartland.
Guys that showed up a couple of weeks ago when a large tree branch fell in front of our house in the middle of the night, covering our driveway and a lot of the lawn. Bruce T and Bill M heard about it at church, dropped what they had going on, and came over with chainsaws that muggy afternoon to help my husband with the daunting task of getting it into manageable pieces and to the curb. Everyone needs friends like these!
Covid and imposed shutdowns made even an introvert like me realize how important community is. I cannot say it is natural for me to seek people out, to not be independent and ask for help. I’m not naturally good at it, so it’s hard for me to make new friends, but I appreciate more than ever the folks willing to show up, to help, to be near the ones willing to get to know me.
People, relationships, community help us understand God. They encourage us, challenge us, make life better, sometimes harder, usually more fun. Relationships take time, effort, proximity, and can definitely be hard. Like anything of value, they can break, but they can also be fixed. You will never look into the eyes of another person who was not uniquely made and loved by God (quoting Tom Brawner) – people are who God’s heart beats for. We know and understand God better by knowing His people. Jesus calls us friends, God calls us family, the Holy Spirit lives in us, and we are connected to each other
Observe, Reflect, Apply: Both of these verses are often read at weddings, but both are about the value of relationships, not a spouse. We need other people. We were created in God’s image (the Trinity is a ”we”) for community. Having community, friends, relationships are better than being alone. Add God to your relationships and they are even stronger! If you find you are lonely, take the initiative to find people. Turn a stranger or an acquaintance into a friend. If you already have good relationships, still lift your eyes to see who God has placed in front of you. God has a way of making the people we are supposed to meet proximate to us. Who has God placed in proximity to you, that you should probably notice?
Name what creates fear and anxiety in you. What (or actually “who“) do you feel called to that is daunting? We are not promised an easy road, but we have God’s power and love in us. We have choices and agency to act on God’s promises, to love God, and our neighbors. What does that look like this week for you?
It is so easy to get busy and distracted from what is most important. Don’t procrastinate and lose sight that God is at work, putting the finishing touches on His plans. Don’t miss the life God has for you – wake up, get dressed in Christ, be up and about, and be intentional to find your people! Connect with someone new this week, or someone you’ve lost touch with that comes to mind.
TODAY! Encourage one another as long as it is called today. We can keep sin’s lies/deceitfulness at bay by encouraging one another. This can only happen in community, being with others. Who can you encourage today?
What part do you play in the communities you are in? Is the part you play healthy and helpful to the body as a whole? We belong to one another according to the grace given to each of us. Recognize your significant part of the whole and recognize how others make you whole. What is one way you can give up one piece of independence, to be vulnerable and trust someone other than yourself?
People can be the best and hardest part of our lives. People will disappoint you, and you will disappoint others. We all get it wrong sometimes. Forgive those that are the hardest. Forgive as you hope to be forgiven…in the sight of Christ for your sake. Has the enemy been at work in your life to divide relationships?
We can’t do life well on our own. We need each other. None are righteousness, not you or your friends, but through Christ we can encourage one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking the gathering together, but to remain in community. Has technology/social media played a role in diminishing recognizing the need for relationships?
{extra journey resources}
CLICK HERE to visit The Bible Project site and explore their super simple, super informative Bible videos (and other resources). You can also download The Bible Project App HERE.
CLICK HERE to get the Read Scripture App, from our friends at The Bible Project.
CLICK HERE for more on how to use the observe-reflect-apply approach to getting the most out of your Bible reading.
The Bible App Get the free YouVersion Bible for your phone, tablet, or computer. Experience the Bible anywhere, with options to highlight, save notes, and share what you are reading with others.
The Bible App For Kids YouVersion partnered with OneHope to develop the Bible App for Kids, designing it specifically to engage children with Bible stories on an age-appropriate level. The Bible App for Kids is a free app for Android, Apple, and Kindle devices, available in over 60 languages.
Bible Gateway Provides advanced Bible searching capabilities, which allow readers to find passages in scripture based on keywords, phrases, or scripture reference.
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