Posted on July 9, 2023 Posted By: HCCCategories: journey
Heartland Community Church
THE JOURNEY
Fighting Fair
By Meghan Hemenway
I’m an only child. In other words, I had to grow up without the relationship training ground that having siblings provides. As a parent of siblings now, I understand how frustrating it can be for parents to listen to the bickering, grumbling, or all-out brawling that can come with kids practicing relationship dynamics on each other. As someone who learned all of that outside my home, I often consider it a gift when my kids “work on their relationship dynamics” together because it is all about practice and about how we reframe things.
Today Craig talked about God’s instructions or guidance on fighting fair. No matter our relationship statuses, we will all have “opportunity” to get into a disagreement with someone and navigate our way back out of it. As someone who works in the business of relationships, again, I most often consider it a gift for people to get to work on how they navigate big emotions while maintaining or even deepening their connections and understanding of the people in their lives. God created us for relationships and with a full emotional range, and I believe that we find more wholeness when we can name and understand our emotions. Bonus points when we begin to get curious about the emotions those we care about are expressing.
In addition to the guidelines Craig pointed out, I offer a few more. Before going to battle with someone, take time to ask yourself why you are upset. What is the best name for the feeling you are having? Where are you feeling that feeling? Sometimes when we get into a fight with someone what we might want more than anything else is to feel heard and understood by that person. What happens to you when you give yourself that understanding?
My next tip is to express your feelings to the other person. For example, “I am feeling hurt when you…” Often we start our arguments by pointing the finger at the other person and telling them what they feel. “You obviously think…” If we own and express our feelings, we stand up for ourselves and make space to be curious about what the other person is feeling. I would guess that these two steps could change the course of many disagreements. And if you are lucky enough to have grown up with a sibling or two, don’t forget to thank them for all the relationship practice they gave you.
The Journey through Proverbs
What is the book of Proverbs about? Watch as our friends from the Bible Project explain its major themes and gain a deeper understanding of its place in the biblical story through these two brief videos.
Read the chapter of the day 2-3 times, and take note of what stands out to you. Ponder the words of wisdom throughout the day, and answer these questions:
What picture or instruction does God give me about building a great life?
Is there anything I notice here that runs contrary to my normal daily life?
What do I want to remember or work on . . . write it on a card or add a note to your phone to remind you.
Review your notes from this past month on readings from Proverbs and consider the following:
Which themes caught your attention most often?
Do you see a connected thread in the Proverbs you took note of?
What are some of the action steps the Proverbs nudged you to consider?
What learnings have you put into play?
How have your relationships improved from what you are trying?
How have you connected with Jesus through the wisdom verses?
What is one thing you are planning to keep in play going forward?
Write a prayer of thanks for what you are learning, and invite Jesus to continue revealing his wisdom to you as you go forward.
{extra journey resources}
CLICK HERE to visit The Bible Project site and explore their super simple, super informative Bible videos (and other resources). You can also download The Bible Project App HERE.
CLICK HERE to get the Read Scripture App, from our friends at The Bible Project.
CLICK HERE for more on how to use the observe-reflect-apply approach to getting the most out of your Bible reading.
The Bible App Get the free YouVersion Bible for your phone, tablet, or computer. Experience the Bible anywhere, with options to highlight, save notes, and share what you are reading with others.
The Bible App For Kids YouVersion partnered with OneHope to develop the Bible App for Kids, designing it specifically to engage children with Bible stories on an age-appropriate level. The Bible App for Kids is a free app for Android, Apple, and Kindle devices, available in over 60 languages.
Bible Gateway Provides advanced Bible searching capabilities, which allow readers to find passages in scripture based on keywords, phrases, or scripture reference.
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